Age Matters

On my last birthday my daughter very sweetly said to me "it's okay Mom, you're only as young as you look". We laughed as I corrected the saying (you're only as young as you feel) and explained the meaning. I am continuing to re-tell this story as other peoples birthdays come and go.

It seems that youthful looks are coveted and as humans we are ever so critical of our aging selves. Yet aging is one of the most enriching parts of our lives. How else would we learn about the joys of longterm friendships, the satisfaction of seeing our children graduate, the love felt on a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary or the thrill of a first grandchild being born.  Today's aging population (those of us over 30) are healthier, more active and generally a more enlightened group than past generations. Many of us have travelled more, had more than one career and with the help of the internet, knowledge about anything is only a click away. Still, the mirror does not lie and we cannot halt what time does to our bodies. Much as we try. The battle of the bulge and the fine lines we call "smile lines" still appear in the photos we see of ourselves. Do we embrace our older selves and say, "hey, I look good"? Nope! We look at our photos or in the mirror and we harshly judge that we are "too fat" or too (insert your favourite criticism here). The truth is that you've earned the face and body you have now. Every grey hair, every wrinkle, every stretch mark is a reference point for how far you've come in your life. Without them we wouldn't be the people we are today. Still, youth is coveted and admired and social media continually extols the virtuals of the young and beautiful.
Wouldn't it be lovely if the Betty White's of the world were what we all aspired to, even at 20? Can you just imagine your teenaged daughter saying "I can't wait till I'm older and look like Betty White, she's so beautiful". Perhaps if we start now, we can brainwash them and in a few years it will catch on and the socially accepted norm will be a fifty year old woman with natural, uncoloured hair and no botox!

Until then, there is a support group for anyone who thinks they look old, fat, wrinkled and basically hideous. It's called 'Friends'. It should work something like this: you look in the mirror and don't like what you see.....grab the phone, call 4 or 5 of your closest friends and host a gathering. Food is optional, appies are great but not necessary. Wine is mandatory, but other options are also acceptable. The friends gather, drink the wine and compliment each other on how awesome and amazing they all are. Celebrate your successful lives. All the little things count. Do your ankles look good? Great! Count them in! Did you make it through the day with minimal friction within your household? Fabulous! You are awesome! Having a good hair day? Grab the camera! And so it goes, until each member has contributed something positive towards the other members and everyone has celebrated a personal success and all the wine has been drank. At that time the meeting adjourns. It is recommended that these meetings be held monthly but if one or more members are struggling, weekly meetings can be scheduled. It is proven to be soothing, enriching and at times, downright comical. The success rate of these meetings have yet to be proven in clinical research as studies are still ongoing. Form your group today and start practicing the "I am amazing" motto that is encouraged among local chapters. It is also possible for one chapter to host another chapter in order to have a really large group. The larger the group, the more you are able to hear how fantastic you all are. It's empowering and rewarding! Seriously, why should the young and good-looking be revered? Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you look great....not great for your age, just great. Then, believe it. We all have just one life. Let's enjoy what we have, while we have it. Like fine wine, we all get better with age......and of course, adding wine just makes it all the more enjoyable! Cheers!